Nyonya Pineapple Tarts: The experiment

It's 1am in the morning now and I should be sleeping. But no.

I'm so stressed. I'm depressed, I hate my life and I want to die.

But before I kick the bucket, I thought I'd try my family's 'SECRET' recipe for Nyonya Pineapple Tarts.

I think only a small handful of the women left in my peranakan family can do this tart properly, now that most of the older generation has passed on. Not wanting to miss out on a 'very important' aspect of being the called 'peranakan' and despite not being female, I just HAD to try this recipe.

I think it was a success :) My sister, the snake that she is, smuggled some to my father (who keeps bragging how well late-grandma makes them) and he said there were good. I didn't want him to try because I was just experimenting with the recipe!

But apparently my tarts were convincing enough :) So.

Make the pineapple jam yourself. Be prepared to spend some time standing at the stove and stirring the blended pineapple until it becomes thick and jam-like. But if you got lost in suicidal thoughts like I did whilst cooking the jam you might over-caramelize it like I did here.

Father said in the old days, the pineapples were chopped to death using two big knives. I was thinking how nice it would be to imagine yourself chopping up your enemy's face whilst doing that.

Make the dough for the tart shells. No I'm not giving you the recipe nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!!

I had some fun imagining myself ramas-ramas my enemy's muka sial whilst mixing the dough mwahahahaha!

After you rest the dough, press them out with your tart cutter. I couldn't find the picture of me using the cutter (I tried this recipe a few weeks ago).

The cutter I used is made from copper with a wooden 'plunger' inside to give my tarts their 'indention'. I understand from father that in the old days, people had to cut two layers of pastry; one was the base and another was a ring to be put on top the first layer.

Damn a lot of work lor if you want to do that. Luckily nowadays we have the plunger cutter. I suppose maybe some ancient nyonya lao ah mahs somewhere still does it the old fashion way.

Oh and after you have cut out the tarts you have to 'pinch' the sides. Other than to give the tarts their Nyonya Pineapple Tart signature look, the 'pinching' also helps the layers to stick together, if you had done it the old fashion way with the double layers.

Tekap banyak-banyak the tart shells. From the picture you can see the difference between the 'pinched' tarts and the ones left 'un-pinched'.

'Pinching' might take some practise, because you have to keep them evenly spaced and facing the correct angle all together so they don't look like they got stampeded over by a clutch of chicken feet.

I am super awesome so I got it almost immediately and it also helped that I imagined myself pinching (very painfully) the face of the person I hate.

Don't the 'pinched' tart shells look like sunflowers in the picture? Pretty.

Press on the pineapple jam (which you should have pre-rolled into little balls for a smoother operation) into the indention.

Traditionally, the top of the tarts are decorated with very thinly cut strips of dough formed into a simple lattice pattern. They strips are kinda fine and soft so you want to lay them carefully. I used the edge of a knife to pick them up and lay them onto the top.

Thank God all those painful hours of needlework gave me the strength and stamina to keep the patience running. And you need A LOT of patience doing this part. I almost forgot how to speak English after finishing the decorative latticework on the tarts.

Egg wash the pastry parts only and bake them!

Don't they look like sunflowers? :)

I know they look a little bit messy. To be honest making these tarts is tiring work and I was very tulan by the time I reached tart number 10. All I keep thinking about (other than suicidal ideas and how to take down my enemies) is how much work it takes to make this and how easy it is to consume a piece in two bites.

*Sigh* Baking can be so depressing :(

Nom Nom one of the tarts and praise yourself for attempting a true culinary feat! The dough should be thin enough so that it cooks to a crunch and not too thick that it remains undercooked whilst the jam burns.

I found that the tarts tasted much nicer after they are cooled. They taste different when warm from the oven and when cooled and left to stand for a day.

No I'm not giving the recipe. My aunt warned me about that :P

But lemme say that the recipe can be easily found on the internet this days. It's the process of making it that is important :)

So, have one tart (or two) every time you feel upset. It's a balm for soothing injured souls....